In Love's Embrace

Happy February, Everyone! This morning I was treated to my typically dark morning drive being unexpectedly graced by increasing daylight! I smiled all the way to the office. And upon entering my door this evening, I was welcomed home by daylight still streaming through my windows! This pleases me to no end, since for the past few months many of us, I included, haven’t seen much of the light of day during our workweeks.

You may think this odd to hear, but there are a variety of reasons why February is one of my favorite months of the year. It’s the month of Love, for instance, as we celebrate romance on Valentine’s Day with our beloveds. It’s also the month that I share my birthday with many of my quirky Aquarian brothers and sisters. Another lovely reason for celebrating this month is that February, with all its harsh, unpredictable weather patterns, ice and bitter cold, also brings us the very first harbinger of spring. It is the coming of the light after months of early dusk and late dawn. So perhaps during your morning commute this month, as you’re waiting for your car’s heater to finally kick in and thaw out your fingers and toes, you’ll remember to witness the sunrise and let your hearts take wing!

Since we’re on the subject of love, appreciation and happy occasions, I’d like to take this opportunity point out something that I’ve been pondering for awhile. It has to do with one of the most crucial forms of love that we all have access to, and yet don’t often practice with an open heart; I’m speaking of self-love. One of the key components of generating a love of self is to embrace self-acceptance as a daily practice. Of course, along this path of self-love and acceptance lies the gift of self-knowledge.

When applied in an astrological sense, we have at our disposal a wealth of knowledge that we can utilize to illuminate truth and understanding of ourselves and others, while keeping common misconceptions and fallacies at bay. For instance, I know a lovely Leo with Virgo rising who for many, many years has fully embraced her Virgo qualities, while dismissing any attempts to point out her Leo traits. She’s gone so far as to call herself a Virgo so often, that I finally felt compelled to question her about this. She explained to me that everything she’s ever read about Leos has been negative, and she’s become completely turned off by her own Sun sign, and refuses to acknowledge it as an integral element of her true nature! I found this disturbing, because by her non-acceptance of a very large part of her own makeup, she has been holding herself back from attaining her full potential, and from achieving authentic self-love and acceptance.

I’ve experienced this myself for a large part of my life as I struggled with sporting Cancer for a rising sign. Now, there’s nothing wrong with the sign of Cancer, but try wearing it as an outward projection when everything in your being sings Aquarius! You see, emotional, self-conscious Cancer requires security, stability, and being cared-for, while intellectual, self-expressive Aquarius is independent, self-driven, and unpredictable. Since our rising signs are indicative of our personalities; i.e. how others see us, and how we see the world, while our Sun signs signify our core essence, one can see how having these two signs vying for equal airtime can be a bit of a challenge for a girl like me!

For years I lamented the “burden” of having Cancer rising. I was uncomfortable with my sensitive, emotional nature, and grappled with my compulsion toward security versus my uncompromising need for freedom and autonomy. I felt like oil and water; an inharmonious living, breathing challenge. It’s taken some work, and I’ve finally learned how to effectively integrate these two seemingly opposing energies, along with all the other astrological dynamics that compose the Carole Unit, into a joyful, harmonious expression of self.

I’ve done this by understanding the characteristics of each sign, embracing them and finding a practical way to express them naturally and comfortably. I still have a ways to go, and there are, of course, times when the scales tip a little and balance needs to be regained, but I am enjoying a much happier, healthier experience as a result of my efforts.

I share this with you because I suspect there are many of us who have experienced this or similar challenges within their own astrological composition. Is there a part of your being-ness that you have closed your mind and your heart to as a result of some negative press, feedback from others, or personal feelings of discomfort? If so, rather than denying that part of you, why not dig it out, examine it and work toward gaining an understanding of why your Higher Self has chosen to throw it into the mixing bowl of what has become your experience in this lifetime?

For how can we practice self-love, achieving our fullest expression of self, while denying an essential part of ourselves?

It’s important to remember that self-acceptance does not mean complacency. There are those who exemplify a few negative behavioral traits of their astrological structure and shrug them off with an “Oh well, I’m a(n) ___, and I’m supposed to be this way.”

Au contraire, mon ami.

We are here to take what we brought with us into this lifetime (our natal charts indicate these characteristics) and rise above our origins, utilizing the gifts of each element and evolving beyond the challenges; ever striving toward our full potential.

Doesn’t this sound like fun?

I can say quite honestly that it’s been quite a romp…a continuous, ever-shifting adventure that I wouldn’t have missed for all the gadgets in the world!

In other words: Come on in, the water’s great!

Namaste.

Loving Your Solar Opposite

Romantic love can be an amazing, wonderful, somewhat complex, dizzyingly delicious, profoundly transformative experience that is filled with a myriad of qualities that offer spice and opportunities to jazz up our lives. It can be whatever we desire, actually, depending upon the intentions that both individuals bring into creating a relationship together. Remembering that each experience is tempered with choice, we can choose to proceed with a sense of happy anticipation of what is to come.

In astrology, there are many factors that indicate romantic compatibility between two people, and a good astrologer can help you to determine these factors. While traditional astrology contains some hard and fast rules when determining the compatibility of two people, I'm of the Aquarian school of thought where most rules go out the window, and intentions set the tone! That is to say, it's good to have an idea of the basics of astrological compatibility, and it's also good to have an attitude of allowing things to flow with whatever feels good. So many times I've encountered someone who had fallen in love with another, only to have their elation deflated because some well-meaning friend mentioned that their Sun signs weren't compatible, or it was pointed out that there would be problems down the line due to such-and-such aspect in their chart. Setting limits upon experiences such as these can do a grave injustice to the potential gifts this type of relationship can offer a couple. It helps to understand that while it's good to have deeper insight into the dynamics of a relationship, care should be taken not to pinch off the opportunity for growth through this experience just because there may be a few bumps in the road up ahead.

Take Solar opposites for example. There are some who believe that two people coming together with opposing Sun signs are in for a tumultuous ride that consists of severe emotions and calamitous battles of will. While there may be potential for such extremes, there is also greater opportunity for a profound and uplifting love that creates balance and harmony between the couple as a whole, and within each individually. The difference comes down to the basics; choice and intention. Those who desire it can create a relationship with each other where individual differences are embraced, and the opportunity to learn and grow is nurtured and fully utilized. Let's take a look at one factor in the Leo/Aquarius connection, for instance. Leo tends to be fully in tune with self, while Aquarius is focused outward toward humanity. Can you see the opportunity for each individual in this example?

If Leo chooses to become inspired by Aquarius's example, he can learn to expand his inner focus outward a little more, sharing the abundant love he feels within with humanity as a whole. In doing so, he can learn to embrace all the gifts that such expansion brings, which includes unlimited vitality achieved by profound knowledge of Universal connection. This knowledge can become much more than mere intellectual knowing, but a deep, inner feeling of connectedness with All That Is. Conversely, if Aquarius chooses to become inspired by Leo's example, she can learn to channel some of her expansive, outwardly-directed humanitarian instincts inward, savoring the energies created, and utilizing them to gain deeper knowledge and compassion of self. She can also achieve profound inner healing, at the soul level, by learning that love must begin by loving oneself. What amazing gifts these two have to teach each other, and then to share with the world!

There is much to be gained by exploring unfamiliar territory, and embracing the experiences that being with your Solar opposite can bring. Opposing Sun signs have an elemental advantage that can also be utilized, as complementary element combinations are Water/Earth, and Fire/Air. Each sign of the zodiac is associated with one of four elemental qualities; Earth, Air, Fire and Water, and by looking at the charts below, you can see how Solar opposites can compliment each other on this level:

Solar Opposites:
Aries & Libra (Fire/Air)
Taurus & Scorpio (Earth/Water)
Gemini & Sagittarius (Air/Fire)
Cancer & Capricorn (Water/Earth)
Leo & Aquarius (Fire/Air)
Virgo & Pisces (Earth/Water)

Element Compatibility:
Fire -- desires freedom.
Earth -- needs security.
Air -- like fire, but with a different emphasis, desires freedom.
Water -- like earth, but with a different emphasis, needs security.

As I've mentioned in some of my previous articles, there are a myriad of factors other than Sun sign resonance that help to determine the romantic compatibility between two people, although looking at Sun sign potential can be a fun place to start! Bearing in mind that even the most challenging chart comparison in the world can yield happy results if the couple involved are willing to work with each other toward a common goal, it's a good idea to have a chart comparison and/or composite chart done by a professional, positive-minded astrologer when you meet that special someone who you think may have some long-term potential. An astrologer can indicate the strengths and opportunities for growth in your union, assisting you in choosing the emphasis of your alliance with each other. In this way, you both can start out on solid ground with a good idea of how to create the most harmonious, open-hearted relationship possible.

Here's to happy loving, everyone!

Relationship Astrology: Is this Experience Right for Me?

Let's face it, we'd all love to get through life as unscathed as possible, right? While intellectually and spiritually we know that we're here to learn and to evolve, our emotional natures may inspire us to duck and cover from the very situations that provide us with the most growth opportunity: Our relationships. These can range from familial, romantic, friendly, and work-related associations and every one of them are important to us for very specific reasons.

Let's observe a few scenarios:

You've just met and connected with this really great guy - or gal - and your body, mind and heart are singing a chorus of happy anticipation for what is yet to come. You can't recall ever experiencing such a strong initial attraction before, and you feel as if something within you has awakened from a long, lonely slumber. At this point, the possibilities are endless, and you find yourself adrift amid happy mental images of true connection that you hope will become an enduring reality.

What is it that has inspired this initial attraction? You know, the one that gets your whole being blissfully buzzing? How long will it last? What are the benefits of intimacy with this person? Is there a soul-connection? A karmic link? Would co-mingling with this individual provide the perfect chemistry for what your life resonates right now?

How about this one:

You love almost everything about your job, trained hard to reach your career goals, apply yourself diligently to your duties, and yet there's a big, fat, hairy fly in the ointment: your boss. Nothing you do seems to satisfy this person, and try as you might, you just can't seem to rise above the deep emotion her/his disapproval evokes within you. You are continually subjected to petty reprimands, overloaded with more than your fair share of projects, and given impossible deadlines. What is the nature of the challenge here? Have you contracted with this person prior to your birth to provide you at this time with an opportunity for growth? Will you ever be able to measure up to his/her standards?

Let's try another one:

All your life, your sister has tormented you. From the moment your shining face appeared within the loving embrace of your mother's arms, your elder sibling's mean-spirited countenance sneared back at you, attempting in any way possible to make you go away. If she couldn't manage it physically, she was determined to do it emotionally. She tripped you during your first efforts to walk, bullied you in the school yard, humiliated you at family functions, and to this day attempts to undermine all your efforts at establishing yourself as a confident adult. Is this simply a classic case of sibling rivalry, or is there a deeper matter at hand? What needs to happen between you and your sister to rectify the situation?

Do any of these circumstances feel familiar? Have you asked yourself these or similar questions about your own relationships? It is very likely that you have, and may still be looking for the answers, which can be discerned with the help of your friendly neighborhood Astrologer.

Since no one is an island -- no, not even Scorpios, though some may fancy themselves to be -- we benefit from connection with others as we move through our lives. We have the opportunity to learn so much about ourselves through our relationships, even the perceived "bad" ones. They can mirror us, showing both our negative and positive traits, while inspiring us to move forward, and to change through personal growth.
Many of us have been wounded through our experiences with various groups and individuals, and some of us may still have scars that block us from thriving or experiencing certain joys as a result of previous conditioning. Since everything happens for a reason, it is through understanding the true purpose behind these experiences, how and why we have personally contracted them, and how they can prove to benefit us when we accept the opportunity for growth and expansion they offer us, that we can begin to heal these wounds, and to move forward into our highest soul purpose.

Relationship Astrology, or Synastry, offers us a profound opportunity for understanding the inner mechanisms of all our personal and social connections. It can show us why some relationships are easy and flowing, while others seem to trip us up at every turn. It can also indicate where we block the easy flow of our own close relationships through fear and unconscious patterning, and suggest alternative attitudes and behaviours that can inspire us to allow these connections to flourish once again.

A qualified Astrologer can assist your efforts by casting various charts that can include your own natal chart, which will indentify any karmic or subconscious behaviours you have generated within your own psyche; a composite chart of your relationship to another, which can indicate the benefits and/or challenges that such a relationship provides each of you; and/or compile a report that compares your natal chart to that of another to determine what type of spiritual contract you both have with each other. It is important, and self-empowering, to remember that Astrology is a very effective tool in gaining deeper insight into ourselves and our circumstances.
Your astrologer is there to assist you by pointing out specific challenges that could be interfereing with your creation, and acceptance of harmonious relationships, and by suggesting possible alternatives. Since free will is the name of the game, it is up to you as an individual, or the two of you together, to determine what course of action you will utilize, based upon the information provided, to bring about constructive resolution to the challenges you face, or to determine whether this relationship should even continue at all.

We instinctively reach out to others because we innately recognize the value of such connections. Each person we meet has something to teach us, and we have something to teach them. Why we sometimes engage in destructive knee-jerk reactions and attempt to pinch off those very connections, or why the individuals we attempt to relate to are blocking the flow of harmonious exchange through their own counter-productive tendencies, is often the cause of a great deal of confusion and distress in our lives. It is through understanding the origin of these inclinations, gaining insight as to how these particular situations serve us, and determining a more constructive method of handling these circumstances that can allow us to continue moving forward in our own personal evolution.

Best wishes for your healthy relating!

Namaste.

When Thoughts turn to Love…

Welcome to February, everyone! While this month may seem cold and barren, there’s plenty of excitement and activities that we can engage in to warm us up inside!

The month begins with Sun in Aquarius, which stimulates us mentally, heightens our efforts toward friendship and social interaction, and inspires us to break free of any pre-set standards that may have become stale. Some of us may choose to utilize these energies to plan ahead, employing innovative ideas and unconventional methods to attain our goals. Aquarius gives us the gumption to break with tradition and set out boldly toward new, progressive ways of doing things.

Aquarius also inspires us to work together in groups toward common goals that could benefit society as a whole. Humanitarianism thrives right now, and we may wish to take this opportunity to become more involved in some charitable and/or compassionate pursuits. Wherever Aquarius resides in your own natal chart, and any natal planets currently interacting with the transiting Sun, will indicate how you can best utilize the energies of this transit. This is definitely a time for getting ourselves out there and becoming involved in something that we can wrap our passions around!

When the Sun moves gently into Pisces, on the 20th, we will be moved to turn toward our own inner essence, seeking a deeper personal peace. Through cultivating harmony within ourselves, we are then able to reach outward empathically, approaching others in ways that may have proved challenging in the past.

Mercury, who represents our thought processes and methods of communication, moves into Pisces on the 3rd, inspiring thoughts that are more on the emotional, introspective side. Students may learn more by absorption than by study at this time, and daydreaming may create some challenges in the academic realm, or in any other endeavor requiring serious thought. With this in mind, remaining grounded and focused on the task at hand can help when it is necessary to communicate and think seriously. Intuitions are heightened now, and it may become difficult to distinguish between our sense of reality and our subconscious emotions.

Adding a bit more of an opportunity to the mix, Mercury will turn retrograde on the 14th, and will remain in that motion until March 7th. When Mercury moves retrograde this month, our thoughts can become even more introspective, and people who have Pisces prominent in their natal charts may become especially prone to deepened soul-searching. We are being given the opportunity to reach inside and contemplate who we really are. Digging deep and discovering insights into our own subconscious behaviors, whether they are ego-based, fear-based, or based in some other limiting factor, will surely benefit us in the long run by motivating us to change what doesn’t work for us into that which does. These changes could ultimately allow us to experience our lives more joyously.

Mercury retrograde in Pisces can be a bit on the challenging side, and communications may become a bit blurred and difficult to understand. We could experience strange dreams and more psychic experiences than usual, which could seem complex and trickier to interpret. Realizing that the line between our thoughts and emotions may become fuzzy during this period, we can choose to remain quiet and centered while at work or in the company of others, rather than becoming reactive or overly analytical.

Of special note: You may have noticed that Mercury goes retrograde on the 14th – Valentine’s Day. Did I just sense a shiver creeping down the spines of lovers everywhere? Fear not, for I have a couple ideas to share. Knowing that Mercury retrograde can make communications of all kinds a bit delicate, may I suggest that you get your Valentines in the mail the Friday before? You may also wish to celebrate the famous Day for Lovers early, perhaps planning a weekend getaway with that someone special on the weekend before Valentine’s Day, when sweet sentiments will be more readily spoken, understood and accepted, than on the actual day itself.

For those of you who may have something really big planned -- like “popping the question” to that special someone on the most romantic of days -- and insist on keeping your plans intact, you might try insuring that things go a bit smoother by raising the intention that everything will be harmonious, charming and lovely (it might also be helpful to have a “plan B” in place). Love and sex will certainly be at the forefront on this day, since both Venus and Mars will be in the signs of their exaltation, Pisces and Capricorn respectively, and their influences and energies will be strengthened. This will be a good day to appear more beautiful and passionate than usual, so remaining joyous and enthusiastic will help to buffer any awkward moments we may face.

To ensure an exquisite experience, appealing to the romantic, charming energy of Venus in Pisces to grace your event might be just the ticket, since she has the poise to soothe just about any challenging situation. Venus’ passage through Pisces gives her an even gentler, more compassionate nature that is both romantic and sensitive. A perfect element for lovers on a night such as this!
Have a Joyous, Loving Valentine’s Day!